Should Allowance Be Tied to Chores in Singapore? (My Honest Answer as a Parent & Youth Trainer)
If you’re a parent in Singapore, you’ve probably asked this:
“Should I tie my child’s allowance to chores?”
It sounds logical. Do work → earn money. That’s how adult life works, right?
But after working with youths and parents for years (and raising my own children), my answer is clear:
Answer-First Summary (Read This First)
No — I do not believe allowance should be tied to chores.
Chores are not a “job”. Chores are a responsibility. If we pay children to contribute to the household, we quietly teach them this dangerous belief: “I only contribute when there’s money in it for me.”
Instead, I recommend a better system: basic allowance for daily needs + optional remuneration for extra initiative (paid into savings). This builds responsibility, delayed gratification, and discipline — without raising entitled or overly calculative children.
Human oversight disclaimer: Every family is different. This is not a rigid rule. It’s a principle. Use it with wisdom and love.
My Position: Chores Are Not a Salary Transaction
Here’s my belief:
Being part of the family means you contribute.
Not because you get paid. But because you belong.
Parents are not paid to wash dishes. We don’t get paid to fold laundry. We don’t get paid to clean the house.vIt is part and parcel of running a household.
If we start paying children for household chores, the message becomes:
“This home isn’t yours. You’re just a hired worker inside it.” That’s how entitlement begins.
A Better Allowance System (What My Family Does)
In my family, allowance is not “salary”. It’s a tool for daily money management.
Basic allowance (for real needs)
My kids receive a fixed allowance depending on school demands:
$3 per day as a base
If they stay back for after-school activities: +$3 for lunch
This is not tied to chores. It is tied to their real-life daily needs.
Extra remuneration (only for initiative)
If they choose to do something extra (beyond normal responsibilities), we may reward it ad hoc. But we don’t call it allowance.
We call it: remuneration.
And it goes into their savings jar.
This preserves a powerful lesson:
chores = responsibility
initiative = rewarded
When Allowance Tied to Chores Can Still Work (But Only If…)
I’m aware some families tie chores to allowance and it works.
But here’s the key: it only works if the family frames it properly.
If chores are positioned as:
household “work contracts”
clear scope + clear expectations
consistent system
no entitlement either direction
Then sure — it can work.
But for most families, what I observe is this: it turns kids into accountants, not contributors.
What Makes Children Entitled or Overly Calculative? (Singapore Parent Reality)
Based on what I’ve seen, entitlement doesn’t come from allowance itself.
Entitlement comes from: no boundaries, no roles, no contribution.
Mistake No. 1: Child does nothing at home
This is the most dangerous pattern:
helper does everything
parents do everything
child contributes nothing
That child starts to feel like a “lord over servants”. And that mindset will follow them into adulthood.
Mistake No. 2: No system → siblings compare and fight
When you have multiple kids, comparison happens:
“Why must I do more?”
“He never does anything!”
“Then I won’t do it!”
This isn’t the children’s fault.
It usually means: the system is unclear.
Mistake No. 3: Assign chores based on age, not skill
Here’s the principle I use: Chores should be assigned based on capability, not age.
A child who can carry things → can bring items to the kitchen.
A child who understands numbers → can help with appliances like the washing machine.
Fairness isn’t equal work. Fairness is appropriate responsibility.
A Singapore Twist: What If You Have a Helper?
In my family, we hire a helper once every two weeks to do heavier chores (like toilets).
But here’s the key: my children still contribute.
They pay about $1 each.
Not because that money “covers the cost”. But because it teaches something deeper:
Contribution is a principle.
Singapore-Specific Challenge #1: POSB Smartwatch & Digital Money
One concern I have in Singapore now: children are spending money digitally — without physically seeing it.
No counting. No touching. No “pain of paying”.
This weakens their relationship with money.
I strongly believe children should start with physical money systems first:
take money
hold money
count money
decide how to use money
Only after they build that foundation should digital tools come in.
Singapore-Specific Challenge No. 2: Comparison Culture
Comparison culture is real: “My friend has this. Why can’t I?”
This is no longer just about money. It’s about identity, insecurity, belonging.
Parents must handle this with emotional intelligence — not anger.
What Allowance Should Really Train (Character, Not Cash)
Allowance is not just spending money.It’s character training.
For me, these 3 values matter most:
1) Responsibility
Kids must learn: your decisions have consequences — and you own them.
2) Delayed gratification
Many things cost more than daily allowance. So they learn to wait, save, prioritise. And delayed gratification is linked to long-term success.
3) Discipline
Discipline is self-control.
Discipline is allocation.
Discipline is resisting temptation.
Allowance can train that, with parental guidance.
Scripts for Parents (Say This With Confidence)
When your child refuses to do chores
“In this family, everyone contributes.
Chores are not a paid job. They are part of belonging here.”When your child compares with friends
“I hear you. But every family has different values.
We don’t spend money to show off. We spend money for value.”“Are you feeling insecure? Let’s talk about what’s really bothering you.”When your child asks for more money
“What do you need it for?”
“Can you delay it?”
“If you really want it, let’s explore how you can earn it.”This teaches them to expand their thinking instead of expanding their demands.
True example: my son wanted a Smiggle pencil case so badly he cried. We didn’t give in.
Instead, we guided him to earn it — and he ended up selling things his brothers wanted.
That day, he learned something money can’t buy: resourcefulness.
Final Takeaway
So should allowance be tied to chores in Singapore?
My answer: No.
Because chores teach belonging.
Allowance teaches money management.
Mix them incorrectly, and you raise:
entitled children
calculative children
children who only help “if there’s something in it for them”
But build the system right, and you raise:
responsible kids
disciplined kids
kids who contribute, not because they are paid……but because they have character.